I have spent so much time measuring myself by all the things I haven’t done, all the dreams that didn’t quite unfold in the way I had hoped, all the habits I wish I could break, the moments I felt like I wasn't enough.
I see all the ways I could be better, smarter, more disciplined, cooler, funner, more attractive.
I notice beauty, thoughtfulness, grace, bravery, skill, talent, and wisdom in so many people who I encounter. I see all things I admire in other people and wish I was more like them.
This mindset leads me to feeling less-than, unworthy, not enough.
I shrink myself and try to fade into the background to let those more sparkly and magnificent than me take the spotlight. Who I am to take up space when I stand next to such splendor?
When these thoughts take over my mind, they become reflected on the surface. I am feeling less-than and other people begin to pick up on the energy I am embodying.
When other people begin to reflect back to me the thoughts I have been thinking about myself, it doesn't feel good. I feel unseen, unappreciated, unrecognized for all that I have been through and all that I have overcome. My achievements feel minimized and overshadowed by my flaws. It's as if everyone sees everything that is wrong with me without appreciating all that is wonderful about me.
And that's when it hits me. The way I feel about myself is the way that others will perceive me.
What if I begin measuring myself by all the things I have done, all the dreams I was brave enough to pursue, all of the healthy habits I have built for myself, and all the moments I stood in my full authenticity and let my light shine without feeling the need to dim it?
What if I see all the ways I am good, smart, disciplined, cool, funny, and attractive?
What if all the things I admire in other people are a chance for me to notice their beauty, thoughtfulness, grace, bravery, skill, talent, and wisdom and, in return, others will notice these things about me?
Because our ability to notice things in other people means that, on some level, we also have those traits within us.
What if I saw myself the way the people who love me the most see me? My best friend is the most amazing woman I have ever met, and even if she has "flaws" I don't see them that way. I see her as a perfectly imperfect human, feeling her way through life, trying to be the best person she can be while also being loving and gentle to herself. I see her as bold and fearless, but also as a girl who has had hard things happen to her, who has wounds and fears and insecurities that she is working through. I would never condemn her and pick her apart in the way I do to myself so why do I do it to myself?
And if I can see my best friend as fully, beautifully human, worthy of love and admiration despite (or perhaps because of) her imperfections, then why can’t I see myself that way too?
What if instead of shrinking, I allowed myself to take up space?
What if instead of focusing on what I lack, I celebrated all that I already am?
What if I stopped waiting to feel like enough and realized I already am?
Learning to be your own biggest fan isn’t about arrogance or pretending to be perfect. It’s about seeing yourself through a lens of love instead of lack. It’s about recognizing the unique way you move through the world and honoring the person you have already become.
Here’s how you can begin that shift:
Acknowledge That You Chose Every Piece of Who You Are
You are not an accident. Your soul didn’t just stumble into this life-- YOU chose it. Every part of you, from the way you think to the way you laugh to the way your heart swells when you witness something beautiful, was intentionally selected. You picked this body. You picked this mind. You picked this life because, on a deeper level, you knew it held the exact lessons, experiences, and relationships that would allow you to expand into the fullest expression of yourself.
Everything that has happened to you, everything that is happening to you, and everything that will happen to you is happening FOR you. For you to see yourself in everything, to show you which direction to move in, to show you which choice to make, to course correct you towards the life of your dreams.
All of your quirks and ticks and idiosyncrasies are what makes you perfectly and uniquely you. Some are invitations to grow. Others are your greatest strengths, your rarest gifts, the unique magic you bring to the world.
Your job is to pay attention.
Look at how the world responds to you. Look at the patterns, the reflections, the synchronicities. See where life is nudging you to expand. See where your presence brings light, where your voice brings wisdom, where your perspective shifts something in another person. You are not here to shrink. You are here to shape the world in a way only you can.
So move through life intentionally. Celebrate your strengths and use them as a beacon for others. See your sense of humor, your depth, your empathy, your passions as deliberate and necessary. THIS is how you make the world a better place, THIS is how you stand in your full authenticity, be recognizing the power and magnitude of all of the unique ways you are inherently you.
Appreciate the way you naturally show up in the world as something sacred.
Nobody else can do it like you.
Nobody else sees the world exactly as you do.
Nobody else will leave the exact imprint on this earth that you will.
You already have everything you need.
You just have to start seeing it that way.
2. Celebrate the Mosaic of Who You’ve Become
Your life is a collection of moments, experiences, dreams pursued, dreams abandoned, passions that burned bright, and interests that faded with time. Pieces of you exist in every book you’ve ever loved, every song that made you feel understood, every conversation that shifted your perspective, every version of you that once existed but no longer does.
And none of it was wasted.
Your old hobbies that you poured yourself into for months before losing interest still lives in you. Your relationship in which you found love within yourself through appreciation of another human being, where you shared beautiful moments in time, where you got to know yourself better, saw your triggers, sensitive spots, and discovered new needs, wants and preferences before it came to an end still shaped you. That version of you who was once so sure of their path before you decided to change direction was never lost—they were just gathering pieces of the person you were always meant to be.
You are a mosaic. You are a breathtaking arrangement of every experience, heartbreak, lesson, and triumph. You are not meant to be just one thing. You were never meant to follow one straight path. Your changes, your detours, your evolutions are proof of a life fully lived, not evidence of failure.
Instead of feeling haunted by the remnants of past versions of yourself, see them as part of your masterpiece. Look at every passion, every pivot, every dream that didn’t quite land, and realize that it all added depth to who you are today.
You are not fragmented. You are not a collection of unfinished things.
You are whole—a living, breathing work of art, built from every stage of your metamorphosis.
And that is something worth celebrating.
3. Reclaim the Narrative of Your Life
You are the storyteller of your life. The same story can be told in countless ways. The details you choose to focus on, the language you use to describe things, and the emotions you attach to what happened change the meaning of the story. The meaning of your past is yours to define.
You can tell the story of being bullied in childhood as a reason not to trust others, a wound that never quite healed. Or you can tell it as the experience that taught you resilience, showed you your own strength, and empowered you to step into your worth.
You can tell the story of your parents’ divorce as proof that love doesn’t last, that everything eventually falls apart. Or you can tell it as evidence that love evolves, that people can grow in different directions, and that choosing oneself can be an act of courage, not failure.
You can decide not to have children because you believe the world is too broken, too cruel, too chaotic to bring new life into. Or you can choose to have children because you believe in raising a generation that will bring more kindness, more wisdom, more light into that same world.
The events of your life are unchangeable. But the meaning you give them? That is entirely up to you.
I challenge you to look at the stories you tell about yourself, your life, and what has happened to you and what you believe to be true. How much of it emboldens you and how what parts hold you down?
I challenge you to change the way you tell your story to a way to is empowering and inspirational. To tell how you overcame adversity and have become the amazing person you are today in spite of everything that happened to you. Tell how the things that didn't go well for you became your motivation to rise up and become better than the things that tried to hold you down.
For too long, you’ve told your story as an apology, as a justification for why you shrink, why you hesitate, why you are the way you are.
You’ve said:
“This is why I struggle, why I am broken, why I can’t.”
But what if, instead, you said:
“These are the battles I have fought, the storms I have weathered, the things that could have destroyed me, but didn’t. And now, I stand in my power, shining my light so brightly that others can find their way through the darkness.”
It’s time to rewrite the way you tell your story.
You are not as someone who is “trying” to be good enough, you already are. You are not someone who has “wasted time.” You have been gathering wisdom, uncovering truths, shaping yourself in ways only experience could teach you. You have been discovering who you are, what you want, and the unique, extraordinary gifts you are meant to share with the world.
You have always been the main character of your own story, even in the moments you forgot. Even in the chapters that felt slow, even in the scenes that didn’t unfold the way you imagined. Every choice, every pivot, every detour has been part of the intricate, brilliant, one-of-a-kind plotline that only you could have written.
You are not behind.
You are not lost.
You are mid-story.
And if something doesn’t sit right—if a chapter feels heavy, if you are painting yourself as the victim, if you feel like your story has been telling itself without your permission—rewrite it.
Your story isn't meant to be a sad one, it's meant to be a beautifully rich, vivid, breathtaking unfolding of perfect events leading you to the magic, the meaning, and the brilliance that is still to come.
4. Stop Waiting for Permission to Be Fully You
How much longer will you wait?
How many dreams have you put on hold, waiting for the right time, the right circumstances, the right version of yourself to arrive?
You don’t need permission.
You don’t need more credentials.
You don’t need to be further along.
You don’t need someone else to validate that you are ready.
You are already ready enough.
For too long, you have looked outside of yourself for confirmation, waiting for a sign, waiting for approval, waiting for proof that you are worthy of the things you want.
But what if the sign has always been you?
What if the way your heart lights up when you think about something is the green light? What if the pull toward a dream is the universe telling you it’s already yours?
It's time to take everything as a sign.
It's time to stamp your own approval.
It's time to see the fact that you are ALIVE as proof that you are worthy of everything you want.
The world will never give you permission to be great. You have to take it.
And once you do, you'll realize stepping into your fullest self is not the hard path. Holding yourself back is.
The exhaustion, the frustration, the heaviness you feel is the weight of not listening to yourself. That’s the resistance of a soul that knows it’s meant for more but keeps waiting, hesitating, dimming, holding back.
When you finally say yes to yourself, it will feel like relief. It will feel like flow. It will feel like coming home.
Because your path was always meant to feel easier than the act of resisting it.
You are not meant to struggle your way into alignment.
Alignment is natural when you stop fighting yourself.
When you finally relax and follow your instincts, life opens up for you. When you let yourself be who you were always meant to be, without fear or hesitation, you unlock the fullness of your own presence.
And when you are fully and authentically yourself—not holding back, not asking for permission, not making yourself smaller—you become magnetic.
You radiate.
You inspire.
And most importantly: you give others permission to do the same.
You know the people you admire? The ones who seem to be living the life of their dreams, the ones whose authenticity lights a fire in you? You will become that for someone else.
The only thing standing between you and the life you want is your willingness to step into it.
And the second you do, you will feel lighter, freer, more yourself than ever before.
5. Be Loud About Your Own Greatness
Stop waiting for someone else to recognize your brilliance. I know you are hoping that if you work hard enough, prove yourself enough, become good enough, that someone will finally look at you and say:
“Wow. You are incredible.”
You already know you are incredible.
You don’t need someone else to see it first.
You don’t need outside validation to confirm what has always been true.
Being your own biggest fan is not arrogance. It’s not self-obsession. It’s self-respect.
It’s waking up every day and deciding to believe in yourself.
It’s recognizing how far you’ve come and giving yourself credit for it.
It’s refusing to dim your light to make others comfortable.
It’s knowing that your quirks, your passions, your voice, your unique and mesmerizing existence are all worthy of celebration.
So be proud. Of your mind. Of your resilience. Of the way you keep showing up. Of the way you see the world. Of the way you exist—fully, authentically, unapologetically.
Hype yourself up.
Speak your own name with reverence.
Share your wins without downplaying them.
Laugh loudly. Take up space. Stand tall in your own presence.
The world has made you believe that confidence should be earned. That love should be proven. That success should be humbly accepted rather than boldly claimed.
But that’s not the truth.
The truth is, the moment you decide to be your own biggest fan fully, unapologetically, and without hesitation is the moment everything changes.
The people who shine the brightest, the ones who own their presence, the ones who inspire you the most aren’t waiting for permission. They weren’t waiting for someone else to say, You are worthy. They decided it for themselves.
Now, it’s your turn.
Be your own biggest fan. Be the loudest voice in your corner. When you start celebrating yourself, the whole world will follow your lead.
It's settled. The (Your Name) Fan Club has officially been started, and you are the founding member. The sole member. And that is enough—for now.
Because this is how it begins. Not with outside applause, not with validation from the world, but with you. With your own voice being the first to cheer you on. With your own belief being the foundation you stand on.
It is settled. You are on your own side now.
Comments