Happiness Is All in Your Mind: Choosing Better Feeling Thoughts

The most impactful thing I have ever done for myself is to make the inside of my mind a pleasant and wonderful place to be. I did this by becoming kind to myself and transforming the way I speak to myself. I realized that every thought I think and every word I speak is an affirmation. All of our self-talk—whether we’re aware of it or not—is a continuous stream of affirmations. These affirmations, repeated over time, are what shape our beliefs, habits, and ultimately, our lives.

I began to see that I was affirming and creating my experiences with every word and thought. For much of my life, I hadn’t realized how negative my inner dialogue had been. Complaints, doubts, and fears had dominated my thinking, and I was unknowingly affirming the very things I didn’t want in my life. Every time I felt like a victim, I was affirming that I wanted to continue feeling powerless. Every moment of self-criticism was an affirmation of inadequacy. These thoughts weren’t serving me—they were shaping a reality I didn’t want.

So, I made a decision to change. I started to pay attention to my thoughts, catching the negative ones as they arose. When I noticed them, I would gently remind myself, This is an old thought. I no longer choose to think this way. Then, I would consciously choose a positive thought to replace it. For example, if my mind said, I’ll never be good enough to do this, I would shift it to, I am learning something new, its okay to not be good at something the first time I try it.  I am proud of myself for showing up because this is important to me.  I am going to keep trying because I want to get better at this.

This shift in my thinking transformed my inner world. I began to speak to myself as if I were a small child, offering support, encouragement, and love—things I hadn’t always received growing up. I cheered myself on when I tried new things, comforted myself when I was disappointed, and gave myself the benefit of the doubt. I treated myself with kindness, reviewing situations not to criticize but to learn and grow. Every time I spoke positively to myself, I was affirming the life I wanted to create, and I started to see my external world change as a result.

I also made a conscious effort to say my affirmations in the present tense. For instance, instead of saying, I’m going to be successful, I began saying, I am successful. This simple shift is powerful because the universe takes your words and thoughts literally, giving you exactly what you affirm. By framing my affirmations in the present moment, the reality I wanted to live in wasn’t off in the distant future, it is happening right here, and right now.

As I made my inner mind a safe and loving place, I noticed a profound shift in how I showed up in the world. I became more resilient, patient, and courageous. Failures felt less devastating, and I was more willing to try again. I became less reactive and more intentional, choosing thoughts that felt good and brought me closer to the life I dreamed of.

And something truly beautiful happened—I extended this kindness to others. The same compassion and support I gave myself, I began offering to those around me. I recognized that, just like me, everyone carries unseen burdens and could benefit from encouragement and understanding. I started speaking to the inner child in others, offering them the love and reassurance they may have longed for growing up.

This process not only deepened my relationships but also brought me greater joy and fulfillment. By transforming my inner world, I created a ripple effect that positively impacted my external world. It all started with the decision to be intentional about my thoughts, to affirm the life I wanted, and to treat myself with the kindness and love I deserved.

Remember, you are not a bad person for thinking the way you do—you’ve simply learned patterns that no longer serve you. But you have the power to unlearn them. By paying attention to your thoughts, releasing bitterness and resentment, and filling your mind with affirmations of joy, possibility, and love, you can transform your life from the inside out. Your mind is precious—don’t waste a single thought. Choose wisely, and watch as your world shifts in incredible ways.

Now that you’ve heard how I transformed my inner world, let’s talk about how you can do the same.

The first step in this journey is awareness.  Every thought we think and every word we speak is creating our future. But here’s the thing: most of us are running on autopilot, repeating the same thoughts and patterns over and over without even realizing it.

Start by becoming conscious of your inner dialogue.  Take a moment to journal. Can you think of things you say to yourself on a regular basis that could be affirming a life that you don’t want?

These thoughts might feel harmless, but what you say, what you imagine and what you believe to be true creates your reality.  Choosing to speak to the good in yourself and the good in other people will compound over time.  At first, it will take effort to switch your thoughts to be more positive, but over time, you will pave these new neural pathways and it will become a reflex.  Your mind will automatically think supportive, uplifting, and encouraging thoughts.

Step 1: Notice the Patterns

By writing these thoughts down, you’ll start to see patterns. These are the habitual beliefs you’ve carried—many of them since childhood—that have been shaping your life. Remember, you can’t clean up your vibration if you’re unaware of the frequency you’re on. Awareness is the first step to change.

What are some of the recurring negative thoughts or self-criticisms I notice myself thinking?

Step 2: Reframe the Negative Self-Talk

Now that you’re aware of these negative thoughts, it’s time to shift them. As Louise Hay reminds us, you are not stuck because of the thought—you are stuck because you keep thinking the thought.

When you catch yourself thinking something negative, pause and say to yourself:

“This is an old thought. I choose not to believe it anymore.”

If I could rewrite this belief into something empowering, what would it say?

If my friend said this to me about themselves, what would I say to them?

Speak this new thought with conviction. Even if it doesn’t feel entirely true yet, remember Neville Goddard’s principle: assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled. Act as though this new belief is already true, and your reality will begin to reflect it.

Step 3: Affirmations in the Present Tense

It’s important to phrase your affirmations as if they are happening right now. The universe doesn’t operate on “someday.” If you say, I will be happy, happiness will always stay in the future. Instead, say, I am happy now.

Choose a better feeling thought.  Choose a thought that feels good.  If you can’t find a better feeling thought, change the subject.  If you try to affirm something that feels too far out of reach, your vibration will push back. For instance, if saying, I am wealthy, feels too big, you can say, I am learning to create abundance, or I am open to new opportunities for wealth.

Repetition is key. The thoughts you think and the words you speak create your life, so choose ones that nourish and support you.  Use affirmations throughout the day. Whenever you notice your mind drifting into negativity, stop and affirm something positive instead.

I love mantras.  I love catch phrases that I say all the time.  When I catch myself thinking a negative thought, it is easier to replace it when I already have a catch phrase up my sleeve.

What catch phrase or phrases can you use to replace these reoccuring negative thoughts?

And when you do this, when you replace a negative thought with a better feeling thought, FEEL IT.  FEEL how much better it feels. The emotion behind your thoughts is what activates the law of attraction. If you can feel the joy, abundance, or peace you desire, you’re already aligning with it.

Step 4: Keep Your Inner World Happy

A happy mental atmosphere is a fertile ground for positive change. Bitterness, blame, and guilt create misery and keep us stuck.

When you notice negative emotions rising, remind yourself:

1. This is temporary. I can choose a better-feeling thought.

2. Shift your focus to something that brings you joy, even if it’s small—like the warmth of the sun or the sound of your favorite song.

Closing Thoughts

This process of transforming your inner dialogue won’t happen overnight, but with practice, you’ll begin to notice profound changes. You’ll feel more empowered, more optimistic, and more in control of your life.