One Simple Perspective Shift That Changes Everything

I have been asking myself the same question for years: "What do I actually want?"

The answer to that question has changed many times—drastically, even. And that’s because when I find an answer, I align my energy, my actions, and my focus toward making it happen. Once I reach that goal, I must ask myself the question again, and the process repeats itself.

Over the years, I've had many people tell me they would love to do what I do. They wish they could travel like I do, come with me next time I travel, or visit me next time I am someplace cool. They ask me how I did it and how they can do it, too.

But when I tell them that they can do it, that there is nothing that makes me any more special than them, things start to fall apart.

See what happens when I tell them they can do what I do is they begin to tell me all the reasons why they can't. They tell me about their job, their financial situation, their responsibilities, their fears. But they aren’t presenting these things as obstacles to overcome—they are presenting them as walls, as final barriers that make their dreams impossible.

I don’t want to oversimplify or gloss over the challenges you face. They are real. They are difficult. But they are not immovable. They are problems to solve, not reasons to not go for it.

Everything you want to do is simply a series of steps you have to take to get from where you are now to where you want to be. Some steps will be easy, others will be hard. Some will test your patience, your skills, your resilience. But none of them are impossible.

Each challenge you face builds up your problem solving abilities, expands your knowledge of how the world works, and trains you to navigate it successfully. The more challenging situations you face, the faster you shift from seeing problems to solving them.  I'll tell you a secret that took me way too long to learn: the less drama and fuss you make about the problem, the quicker you can get to solving it.

No matter what path you take, challenges and obstacles are inevitable. But if struggle is unavoidable, wouldn’t you rather face it on the way to a life you love than one you settled for? The real risk isn’t failure—it’s ending up somewhere you never truly wanted to be.

There is more to the question that needs to be addressed. The reason I say "What do I actually want?" is because I’ve learned the hard way that chasing the wrong things can be just as dangerous as not chasing anything at all. Do I want to go to that music festival, or do I crave time with the friends? Do I really want a job, or do I just want more money? Do I want my own apartment, or do I just need a place to settle for a while? Getting clear on the real desire beneath the surface saves me from pouring energy into the wrong pursuits.

So what if you take all these risks and struggle a bunch and it doesn't work out, you don't end up where you wanted--then what?

Then you grow. You've become someone who is stronger, wiser, more adaptable. You've collect skills, experiences, and perspectives that you never would have gained by standing still. Everything comes to an end. The van trip ends. Your visa expires. You've eaten so many good meals, all you want is buttered toast. You've seen been so many breathtaking places, they aren't taking your breath anymore. You've had so many once-in-a-lifetime experiences that you just want to veg out on the couch for a week. It is so real.

But that doesn't make it a failure. Was it a failure that I did van life then went home because I was tired of being cold? Is it a failure that I planned a whole road trip and decided not to go because it didn't feel exciting to me? Is it a failure that I had to cancel a trip because while I could have made it work, I couldn't really afford it? At the time, it felt like failing. But looking back, I see it differently—I see that I can do any of those things again, anytime I choose. Because I’ve built trust in myself. I know I can make things happen.

People fear failure because they believe it means wasted time, wasted effort, wasted hope. But nothing is ever wasted. Every challenge you overcome sharpens your ability to navigate the world. Every risk you take expands your understanding of what’s possible. Every time you step into uncertainty, you prove to yourself that you can.

But let’s be honest—most people don’t even get that far.

Not because they fail. Not because they aren’t capable. But because they convince themselves it’s not the right time.

They tell themselves, "I’ll go for it once I have more money. Once I have more time. Once things settle down. Once I feel ready." But that “right time” never comes. Because life never slows down and presents you with the perfect moment wrapped in a bow.

And while you’re waiting for that moment, where are you actually heading?

If you stay on the same path you’re on right now, where will you end up? Not in some vague, imagined future where everything magically aligns—but in reality. In five years, in ten years, if you keep waiting for the perfect time, will you be anywhere closer to what you actually want?

Or will you just wake up one day and realize you let your life slip by, one excuse at a time?

Because here’s the truth: you don’t get ready. You become ready by doing it. The only way to get to where you want to be is to start before you feel ready, before you have all the answers. And if you don’t even know what you actually want yet, that’s even more reason to start—because clarity comes from action, not overthinking.

The truth is, you have no guarantee that any path will work out—not even the “safe” one. Life is unpredictable no matter what. So the real question isn’t “What if I fail?”—it’s “Who will I become if I try?”

The difference between the people who live the life they want and the ones who don’t isn’t luck, talent, or privilege. It’s the willingness to keep asking the question—and then take the next step, no matter how uncertain it feels.

So, what do you actually want? And more importantly—what will you do about it?