Self Image: Choosing Who You Want to Be

How you see yourself determines the way you move through the world. It shapes your decisions, your relationships, and the opportunities you allow yourself to pursue. And yet, most of us are blind to how much power our self-image holds.

I invite you to journal on this subject before you read what I have to say..

Describe yourself.  Not to anyone in particular, not to read aloud, not to share, but to fully encapsulate everything you see in yourself.  Write about your upbringing, your accomplishments, how you see the world, you aspirations, how you treat others, your strengths, your weaknesses, what you’re working on.  Whatever you feel about yourself, whatever you feel like makes you you.

Look at what you wrote and star some of the things that really stand out for you.  Things that feel big.

Now, write what has happened to you in your life that has caused you to believe those things about yourself.

To understand our current self-image, we first need to recognize that it’s not just something we’re born with—it’s shaped by the experiences we’ve had, the stories we’ve been told, and the beliefs we’ve carried. Over time, these things create a filter through which we see ourselves and see the world around us.  

For example, think about how you interpret events in your life. If your self-image tells you that you’re not good enough, your brain will filter experiences to reinforce that belief.  An example of that is, growing up nobody ever acknowledged what you were good at, or encouraged or supported you when you tried things.  You didn’t really get any positive feedback from your teachers or your parents, even when you put a lot of effort into things.  Because this happened to you, you assumed that you must not have any real talent or skill.  As an adult, you don’t bother making art or putting effort into things that you care about because you don’t see yourself as having any natural skill or talent, while there are so many other people out there who excel at those things.  Why bother trying?  

The good news is, as an adult we can change that filter by changing the way we see ourselves and the story we tell ourselves.  We can realize that our parents were exhausted and stressed out, they didn’t realize how much their praise would have meant to you and they were doing the best they could.  Our teachers had so many students, and just because they didn’t give you special attention does not mean you weren’t special.

Our stories aren’t always shaped by neglect or lack; sometimes, even positive reinforcement can misdirect us. Wouldn’t it be confusing if you didn’t really like or care about something and someone paid you special attention around it, causing you to feel like even though you don’t enjoy doing it, that maybe you should stick with it because it earns you praise.

The thing to realize is that now, as an adult, you get to decide what things you like to do and what is important to you.  It is up to you to validate yourself and notice your own progress in this thing.  Tell yourself a new story.  Let yourself do something poorly, and tell yourself that you are learning, that it is okay to not be amazing at it right away, you’ll get better over time.  Plus,  the real value comes in doing something because you enjoy it, not to be the best at it.

Our self-image evolves naturally over time, shaped by new experiences and lessons.  We begin to see ourselves differently, even if we don’t try to.  If we DO try to change our self image, we can speed up the process and form a new self image and change the way we interact with the world around us.

By learning to see yourself differently and changing the story you tell yourself about yourself, you can learn to see situations through a better lens and see yourself through a better lens.  

When you align the way you see yourself with the things you want to experience and achieve in life, then you come into harmony with your authentic self and you magnetize your life path to flow to you.  

Look back at what you wrote about yourself, and the big things that you starred.

If you were your ideal self, how would the way you tell those stories change?

Another way to put it, if you were living as your ideal self, and those stories from your past no longer affected you, would you tell them differently?

Spend a few minutes rewriting the stories you tell yourself in a new way.

Rewriting your stories is a powerful start, but visualization takes it one step further. By imagining your ideal self and stepping into their energy, you can begin to live as that version of you today.

If you're ready to make a big shift in your self image, listen to this guided visualization on connecting with your ideal self.

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Welcome back. Take a moment to reflect on anything that came up for you during the visualization—any insights, feelings, or messages from your ideal self.

Journal about your ideal self for a few minutes

You are not your stories—you are the storyteller.

What things do you enjoy doing and are good at that make you really cool and fun and awesome? 

What do you love about yourself?  

How do you feel when you are thinking about the positive traits you like about yourself?

Journal about a time that really highlights that positive trait about yourself.

How are you feeling right now, what are the sensations in your body.

Spend the next 60 seconds feeling those feelings.

Just like how you can edit a picture, you can make it brighter and the colors more vibrant, makes those feelings, turn up whatever feelings you feel right now.  

Remember this feeling.

What things do you believe or do now that don’t align with your ideal self?

What would your ideal self say to you to stop making excuses and change those thoughts and behaviors?

What will you no longer do?

To truly step into your authentic self, you need to practice being that version of you. This means taking actions, even small ones, that bring you joy and satisfaction, while letting go of old habits that no longer serve you.  Remember those sensations you felt when you remember what you like about yourself.  Practice feeling those feelings more frequently.